Interview With Karen
Q: Where and when were you born?
A: I was born on November 25, 1944, at Chestnut Hill Hospital in Philadelphia. It was a Saturday, two days after Thanksgiving. In those days, you didn't just go home from the hospital, so my mother and I stayed at my grandmother's house for at least two weeks before going home. I lived in West Oak Lane until I was about six, and then we moved to Pittsburgh. My dad was a mechanical engineer, so his work took us from place to place. We lived in Pittsburgh for about a year and then in two different places in Ohio. By fifth grade, my mother was missing her family terribly, so we moved back to Philadelphia and lived with my grandparents until our house was built. I went to two different schools in fifth grade because of all the moving.
Q: Who inspired you when you were younger?
A: My parents. My dad especially was a very kind, thoughtful man. He was smart, but he wasn't fancy. He was just a really lovely man who was always doing things for other people. He had a group of friends from the Boy Scouts, and after they finished school, they played poker together once a month for about 50 years. They called themselves the "Aged Boy Scouts." There was no real gambling or anything, it was just about those six or eight friends getting together and staying connected. My mother was very different from my dad, but they both loved music. She played piano and organ, and my dad sang in the church choir. That's actually how they met.
Q: What is your earliest childhood memory?
A: One of my favorite memories is from when I was about three or four. My mother was out, and my dad told me that if I took a good nap, when I woke up he would have made me a cigar-box guitar. My dad didn't smoke, but people used to buy cigars in these wooden boxes. He took one of those boxes, cut a circle in the top, and put rubber bands across it for strings. So I took my nap, and when I woke up, lo and behold, there it was. I could actually play it. It's just one of those little memories that stayed with me.
Q: Did you have any jobs growing up?
A: I started babysitting when I was 11, and when I was 14, I started volunteering at the Lutheran Home for the Orphans and Aged in Germantown. My mother was legally blind and didn't drive, so I had to figure out how to get there myself. I would take the bus and the trolley and just work it out. I think that gave me a lot of independence.
I loved sitting with the older people and listening to their stories. I can still remember one woman named Mammy. She was 100 years old. She was in bed and couldn't really get around, but she was so wonderful and smiley. I just really enjoyed being around those people.
Later, I worked as a waitress and as a cartographer. That was before computers, so I would actually put the names of roads and streets onto these great big maps by hand.
Q: Where did you go to college, and what did you study?
A: I went to Cedar Crest College in Allentown, Pennsylvania. At first, I thought I wanted to be a teacher because I had two aunts who were teachers. But something changed, and I thought, You know what? I think I'd like to be a nurse. It was a five-year program altogether, two years of college and three years of nursing school. It wasn't the four-year program that you would have today.
Q: What did you do after college?
A: I became a nurse, but pretty soon after college, we started our family. Jim and I had three boys in four years, so for a while I was mostly focused on raising our family and life on the farm. I also did volunteer work with our local hospital and spent three years organizing a very large fair. That was a huge project and took a lot of my time. Later, I was a partner in a silk and dried-flower business for about three years. Then I went back to nursing. I worked with children with special needs for a local organization and later worked in a hospital. After that, I became a guidance counselor's secretary at a high school. I was there for six years, and I absolutely loved the kids. I helped with appointments, college fairs, testing, and all of that, but sometimes the kids just wanted somebody to talk to. Those can be hard years for young people, and I really enjoyed being there for them.
Q: How did you decide where to settle and raise your family?
A: We ended up staying in Pennsylvania. Jim's parents had a place they called "the lake," which was more rural, and his father heard about a farm that was for sale. We went to look at it, and I fell in love with it. I love the country and rural life. It makes me happy. So that's how we ended up on the farm and stayed there for about 40 years.
Q: Have you ever had to make a big sacrifice?
A: When Jim graduated from Lehigh, we got married that summer, and the following summer we had our first child, John. I had to stop my nursing training because of that. But I wasn't going to give up on finishing. Later, I went back while Jim was away doing ten weeks of intensive training in Switzerland. I lived in an apartment about an hour from the hospital. My mother watched John, so I would get up very early, take him to my mother's house, drive to the hospital, work, drive back, pick him up, and do it all over again. I did that for six months.
It was very labor-intensive, but I never really thought, Well, I'm not going to finish. That was never a question. I just thought, How are we going to do it? And fortunately, my mother was willing to help.
Looking back, absolutely, it was worth it.
Q: What is your greatest achievement?
A: My greatest personal achievement was raising my sons to be thoughtful, self-sufficient, industrious, and believers in education.
Jim and I worked very hard to give them good opportunities, including private school and university education. I wanted them to be independent and hardworking and to value education. Beyond raising my family, I think another achievement was learning that I could change my life when I needed to. Jim and I were married for 42 years, and most of that time was spent on the farm. After he died, I eventually realized that the farm was too much work and that I needed to make a change. So I did. I had to do it myself, and I had always been pretty independent. My dad used to say, "I'll do it," and I think I got that from him.
Q: What is one of the best days you remember?
A: That's a hard question because I've had so many wonderful days. Getting married, having my children, traveling, spending time with friends and family. After Jim died, one of my dearest friends was also a widow, and we traveled together. We went to some extraordinary places around the world. Those were wonderful experiences.
And then there are the simple things. Taking walks in the woods with Opa and Emma, for example. You just find good things in the day and make it work.
Q: How has technology changed your life?
A: Everything is immediate now. That's probably the biggest difference.
Sometimes I think we don't have as much sense of people because we're just dealing with things so quickly. When I was growing up, everything was face-to-face. You spent time with people. You talked to your neighbors and your friends. Now, if it's somebody's birthday, you might just send them a text. I didn't even send you a card, I just texted you happy birthday. That's a way we never would have communicated before. I know that's partly because I'm older, but I do think something has been lost when everything becomes so immediate.
Q: Is there any technology you wish you had growing up?
A: Maybe a little flip phone. Just something where I could have called my parents and said, "I'm going to be late," or "I can't do this," or whatever. But honestly, I don't really wish I had grown up with all the technology we have now. I don't know any other world. I grew up after World War II, and life was simple. Families, friends, and neighbors were important, and you communicated face-to-face. I'm happy with the way I grew up. I'll keep it that way for now.
Q: Is your life what you imagined when you were younger?
A: Not really. I don't think I ever thought very much about being old or what my life would look like at this age. I just went from one thing to the next. I made decisions along the way, tried things, and went on. I felt confident and happy with the people around me, and somehow it all worked out.
Q: Do you have any regrets?
A: I don't really like to think about regrets. I made the choices I made, and overall, I'm a happy person. I've been blessed with good friends and a good family. There are things I sometimes wonder about. I took improv classes, for example, and really enjoyed them. Maybe I could have done more with that. After Jim died, I also got into quilting. I learned how to quilt and joined a quilting group, and I absolutely loved it. I still have all the fabrics. I think I've always been willing to try something new. Maybe I didn't do everything, but I did a lot of different things, and I'm happy with that.